Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Stolen AKA Stole-Crap


Director: Simon West
Starring:  Nicolas Cage, Malin Akerman, and Josh Lucas
Box Office: $2,106,557 (Worldwide)
DVD Review

Stolen was released in 2012. Yes, it was released in theatres in September 2012. And it was released on DVD in January 2013. That's a dismal five months between theatrical and DVD release. That should tell you right off the bat that this is not a good film.

Nicolas Cage has been staring in a string of crap-tastic movies, yet again. As mentioned previously, we believe Cage does one good film in about 10. Add a plus-1 to the bad column for this stinker.

Stolen sees Cage as a recently (as in the movie takes place on the day he is released) released ex-bank robber who wants to reconnect with his estranged teenage daughter. He was sent to prison eight years prior after a botched bank robbery where he took the rap, allowing his team to go free. Former team member Vincent (Josh Lucas), who many believed to have died several years before, resurfaces to exact revenge on Will (Cage). He blames Will for all of his life struggles and expects to receive the $10 million dollars they had stolen from the bank eight years ago. Vincent kidnaps Will's daughter and the only way that Will can rescue her is by robbing another bank, all while being watched by the detective (Danny Huston) who arrested him tries to track him down again and catch him with the missing $10 million.

If this plot sounds familiar, that's because it is! We have seen it before and not surprisingly, it was from Cage! (Gone in 60 Seconds). A very similar storyline; instead of car theft it's bank robberies! It's like Gone in 60 Seconds meets Taken meets Con Air meets Speed meets Italian Job. Seems like the makers of this film just recycled concepts from these previous films and made one spectacular piece of crap.

The film sees Cage pair up with Simon West, who he had previously worked with on Con Air. With this pairing, you'd think that the film would be a decent action film as West has some serious action-genre-movie-clout behind his name (Con Air, The Mechanic, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider and most recently The Expendables 2). But alas, we were presented with this steaming festering turd. (Sorry for the graphic-ness of that sentence but I am very irate with the outcome of this film). The acting was horrific. The story was even worst. I don't think anything could have saved this film.

Lucas was barely recognizable as the psychotic degenerate Vincent. But it was more laughable than menacing. Not a very good depiction of a villain. especially for an action film when the bad guy is supposed to be intimidating. Malin Akerman was underused. She's a decent supporting actress and was not given nearly enough in this role. And Huston, he might as well not have been in the film. His character was very basic. No meat to it and therefore nothing for him to work with.

Though I did appreciate the simplicity and shortness of the film (as it's always good to get right into the action and not drag out the story in the end) it was a double-edged sword: it also hindered the follow-through of the story and left the audience wondering "what is this film really trying to accomplish"?

There was something "off" in this film. Was it the filming, the music, the acting? It had a European action film type feel to it but had none of the appeal. The use of CCR as the theme music for Cage's character's bank heists almost won me over but even John Fogerty couldn't persuade me to enjoy this film. The story was ridiculous, the characters sluggish and the entire film was a waste of time.

Final Verdict: Skip it. There's a reason why no one heard of this film when it was released. It was too similar to Cage's previous films (he bought a teddy bear upon his release from prison in this film - hello!! He had a stuffed bunny rabbit for his daughter in Con Air!) but lacked all of the gusto these films had. It was very subpar, one of Cage's worst (and he's had a lot of bad ones so that should say something!). Here's hoping

Rotten Tomatoes

No comments: