Director: Len Wiseman
Starring: Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, and Jessica Biel
Box Office Gross: $58,877,969 (USA)
DVD Review
First off, I'd like to thank this film for giving the Don't Sit Next To Us team reason to bring back the art of changing movie titles, of films that are horrible, to have the word "crap" in them. Past films that earned this highly prestigious honour include (but are not limited to): Sky-crap (Skyline), Season of the Crap (Season of the Witch), The Social Crap (The Social Network) and who could forget, Ava-Crap (Avatar). Which brings us to the newest addition, Total Crap.
As soon as I heard a remake of the 1990 sci-fi classic was being made, I cringed. I physically cringed. I realize that we are in the age of remakes, reboots and re-imagines. But come on! Did this film really need to be remade??? (To answer that rhetorical question: NO). It's one thing to remake, reboot or even re-imagine a film and give new life to it. It's another to remake for the sake of remaking. And after watching this film, it's apparent that the intent behind this venture was not only to remake the original, but to make it more action based. For shame, Len Wiseman. You ruined a perfectly good sci-fi film.
The film's storyline is similar to the original; a global war has devastated Earth leaving the remaining livable terrority divided into two - the Colony and The United Federation of Britain (UFB). A resistance is rising in the UFB that seeks to improve life in the Colony. Douglas Quaid (Farrell), a factory worker who travels from the Colony to the United Federation of Britain (UFB) daily for work, decides to visit Rekall - a company that implants artificial memories into people. After trying to implant "secret agent" memories into Quaid, it is discovered that he has real memories of being an agent. Quaid is ambushed by a SWAT team and kills them all before escaping. He returns home to his wife Lori (Beckinsale) to discover that she is an undercover UFB agent who has been assigned to monitor him. She attempts to kill him but he escapes, running into Melina (Biel) a woman from his recurring dream. Quaid embarks on a journey with Melina to find out who he really is and to stop the UFB from taking over the Colony.
The biggest difference between the two films is the lack of sci-fi incorporated in this remake. Gone are the strange travels between Earth and Mars, the mutants and crazy antics that ensue when you're dealing with other worldly creatures and territories. Again, the film was changed from a sci-fi genre to an action genre. Oy vey.
Total Recall reminded me a lot of Avatar; visually appealing but little substance. Acting was horrific. You know it's bad when you have Bill Nighy and Bryan Cranston as the supporting actors to the starring Farrell, Biel and Beckinsale (which of course means less screen time for Nighy and Cranston). Ugh. That was the first mistake made in this film - the casting. Surely they could have found someone better suited to play the role of Quaid. Keanu Reeves, Jason Statham, Kiefer Sutherland, hell even Vin Diesel would have been better in this role than Farrell. He lacks charisma. Which is a huge thing to be missing when you're the leading man. And talk about having no chemistry with his leading ladies! Though I am not a fan of Biel, she was decent in this role. Not much to work with, so this was not a difficult role for her to tackle. Beckinsale was the obvious standout in this film. I am not sure if that was because she has credibility as a female action star or simply because her husband was behind this film. I'd like to believe the former.
Final Verdict: Skip it. Waste of time. Watch the original. You can always rely on Arnold Schwarzenegger to make a film enjoyable. Even if you don't like the context of the film. Especially with quotes like "What about the guy you lobotomized? Did he get a refund?" and "Consider this a divorce". But for all those sci-fi fans out there who enjoyed the original film - this remake just does not make the grade.
Rotten Tomatoes
No comments:
Post a Comment