Throwback Thursday - Shallow Hal

Shallow Hal
Director: Bobby and Peter Farrelly
Starring: Jack Black, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Jason Alexander
Released: 2001
Box Office Gross: $141,069,860 (Worldwide)
Throwback Review

"Shallow Hal wants a gal!"

I remember the first time I saw Shallow Hal. Another one of my brother's choices, I couldn't stop laughing the entire film. This is the Farrelly Brothers we all love to see. In-your-face humour at its finest, Shallow Hal pushes the boundaries with regards to views on weight and looks and what it really means to be "beautiful".

Shallow Hal stars Jack Black as Hal Larson, a superficial, habitually single man who's obsession with the physical beauty of women has kept him single for years. Along with his friend Mauricio (Jason Alexander), Hal tries to find the "perfect" woman at various nightclubs, while trying to move up the corporate ladder at the company he works for.

Hal runs into life coach Tony Robbins and the two get stuck in an elevator, providing Robbins with an opportunity to bestow a "gift" on Hal; going forward, he will only see the physical manifestations of a person's inner beauty. Immediately after the elevator's power is restored, Hal runs into a beautiful young woman and is shocked to find that she openly flirts with him. After meeting several more eager and beautiful (in Hal's eyes) women at his usual nightclub (though to Mauricio, and the rest of the world, these women are anything but beautiful), Hal meets the girl of his dream, Rosemary Shanahan (Gwyneth Paltrow - who plays the character in two parts: one as herself and the second in a "fat suit"). The two begin a relationship but Mauricio is determined to "save" his friend and restore him to the "shallow" Hal that he knows and loves.

The subject matter of this film is a tough one to tackle. It's a sensitive issue and done in a wrongful, tasteless manner, can be detrimental to a film's success. However, the Farrelly brothers incorporate just enough crudeness with the right mix of light Jack Black type comedy and a significant amount of heart, to make this film a success. Though many thought the film strayed too far from the Farrelly brothers' usual work (There's Something About Mary, Me, Myself and Irene), I found the film to be more refreshing than their previous work. Where in their past movies, comedic presence was relied heavily on gross-out, crude humour, Shallow Hal paid close attention to the heart of the story and drew out comedic elements from the characters.

Everything about this film made it enjoyable: music, characters, story. Each of these elements were strongly represented in this film and created a movie that can be watched several times over. I still laugh at the same jokes and can`t help but smile at the end. Again, like their previous work, the Farrelly Brothers are able to pull on your heartstrings when you least expect it, especially in this film where you genuinely feel for the characters.

Final Verdict: See it. A great comedy with surprisingly, a lot of heart. Black is at the top of his game in this laugh out loud film. Paltrow fits well in this role and is very believable as the self-conscious, overweight, kindhearted, Rosemary. Throw in a great tune from Darius Rucker and you have a fun and funny film for anyone who wants a good laugh.

Rotten Tomatoes

Les Misérables

Director: Tom Hooper

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway, Amanda Seyfried

New Release Review

Somehow, I missed every single opportunity in the 1980s, 1990s, and 2000s to see Les Misérables on stage. I think that's (partly) why I was looking forward to seeing the screen adaptation of this wildly successful theatre production. Another reason is I'm enjoying this trend in Hollywood to remake stories that don't involve superheroes, the apocalypse, aliens, vampires, or gross-out humour. It's just a shame that it only happens once a year at Oscar time. 

Les Misérables is described as a musical but really, it's more like an opera / sung-through musical because there are only a handful of words that are spoken. At first I thought it would be distracting but director Tom Hooper (The King's Speech, The Damned United) made the decision to record the actors singing live on set, rather than the more traditional route of having the actors lip-sync to the pre-recorded singing on set. I feel that the singing feels more natural as a result because it means the actor can make those tiny adjustments while they're, you know, acting. 

The story is too big to summarize here. I can only say it's a sprawling epic that follows Jean Val Jean as he attempts to live his life after being released from prison. It's a tale of love, honour, patriotism, loss, redemption, and, of course, misery. All this set against the backdrop of post-revolution Paris: what more could you ask for?

Verdict: A qualified see it. See it if you love musicals. See it if you love period dramas. And see it if you love  theatre and pageantry.  

Trailer Tuesday: The Lone Ranger

The Lone Ranger
Director: Gore Verbinski
Stars: Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer, and Tom Wilkinson

I have mixed feelings about The Lone Ranger. While director Verbinski (Pirates of the Caribbean 1, 2, & 3, Rango) and producer Jerry Bruckheimer (Pirates of the Caribbean, National Treasure) together are sure to create an entertaining movie, I am getting a little weary of Johnny Depp's "characters". After playing Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates franchise, it seems to me that whichever character Depp plays ends up taking over by demanding to be the centre of attention. But the character of Tonto is different. Granted Depp is playing into the stoic native stereotype but that is at least in step with the original series. Tonto can't go wobbling around chewing the scenery and I am curious to see what Depp does with such a character.

I'm not excited to see The Lone Ranger yet I'll likely still make the trip to the cinema. It's the typical Verbinski/Bruckheimer fare: cheap laughs, entertaining situations, and unbelievable, light-hearted action.

The Lone Ranger is currently scheduled for a May release date.

Pitch Perfect or A-ca-scuse Me? This Film was Actually Good!

Pitch Perfect
Director: Jason Moore
Starring: Anna Kendrick, Brittany Snow, and Rebel Wilson
Box Office: $64,799,608 (USA)
DVD Review

Pitch Perfect slipped through the cracks. It was never put on our Fall 2012 Movie List. When it was released, several other films that were on the list, were also released. Unfortunately, Pitch Perfect got pushed back continuously due to these other films that had to be seen first. We never claimed to be perfect (no pun intended) here at Don't Sit Next To Us; but we do try to see as many films in theatre that we can and sometimes we just don't have the time to see them all. If we had our way, we would be at the theatre every day. But I digress...on to the review!

The film stars Kendrick as Becca, a freshman at Barden University, reluctant to attend but forced by her father who is a professor at the university. Becca has aspirations to move to Los Angeles and pursue a career in music production. She isolates herself from college life and other students, except Jesse (Skylar Astin) who she meets at her job at the school radio station. Her father finds out she is not attending classes and offers to let her go to LA if she joins a club and proves that she wants to get involved with the school.

Aubrey (Anna Camp) and Chloe (Brittany Snow), leaders of the Bellas (an all-female acappella group) convince Becca to join along with a group of other women who do not fit the typical "Bellas" mold. The group, still reeling from their devastating loss at the a cappella championships the previous year, need to find replacements for all the girls that moved on from the group. Most ambitious of the new girls to join is Fat Amy (Rebel Wilson) who claims she calls herself "Fat Amy" so people don't say it behind her back.

The girls clash initially, with Aubrey controlling what songs should be performed by the group. She insists on classic songs like Ace of Base's "The Sign" while Becca believes that the group should try something different by "remixing" songs and making mash-ups of current hits and old favourites, which she does in her spare time. Jesse joins the Treblemakers (the all-male acappella group at the school) and the two groups compete to become the school's best acappella group, while the Bellas try to work together to redeem themselves at the championship.

I remember seeing the trailer for this film and I couldn't stop laughing, and I can easily remember why: Rebel Wilson. In terms of comedy, she owned this film. There were some other laughable moments from supporting cast, but Wilson was the main reason for the comedic element in this film. The other performances in the film are not notable. They're not horrible but they're not memorable either. What makes this film so enjoyable is the music. 

Taking a note from Glee, Pitch Perfect uses contemporary music mixed with classics to appeal to the masses. If the music wasn't so appealing, the film would not be as successful as it was. Similar to Bring It On, a film that many critics have compared this one to, the light, fun, "pop-y" storyline is what has allowed this film to do so well both at the box office and with critics. It doesn't take it's self seriously and it's pleasing to the ears. (But here's hoping it doesn't spawn a string of sequels ala Bring It On).

Final Verdict: See it. It's fun and light and just the right amount of cheesiness. Wilson provides enough laughs to carry the film. The musical numbers are catchy. And although the storyline is predictable, you can't help but root for the Bellas to win.

Rotten Tomatoes

Throwback Thursday - Gone In 60 Seconds

This week's edition of Throwback Thursday is courtesy of a request from Sean.

Gone in 60 Seconds
Director: Dominic Sena
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Angelina Jolie, and Giovanni Ribsi
Released: 2000
Box Office: $231,126,000 (Worldwide)
Throwback Review

Gone in 60 Seconds was one of the many films I initially watched because my brother wanted to see it and I was glad he did or I might not have watched it when it was released. It has become one of those films that whenever it is playing on TV, I can't help but watch it.

The film stars Nicolas Cage as Memphis Raines, an ex-car thief who is forced to return home and enter the car theft ring once again in order to save his brother, Kip (Giovanni Ribsi), from British crime boss Raymond "The Carpenter" Caltri (Christopher Eccleston - aka the 9th Doctor) who is threatening to kill him unless he delivers 50 stolen cars. Memphis gathers his old team (Chi McBride, Robert Duvall, Vinnie Jones, and Angelina Jolie) along with Kip's team in order to accomplish the seemingly impossible feat of "boosting" 50 cars in 72 hours. To add to their troubles, Detectives Castlebeck (Delroy Lindo) and Drycoff (Timothy Olyphant) begin investigating Memphis. As the group embarks on this difficult journey, Memphis must figure out a way to save Kip, stay out of prison, and break free from the underground world of "boosting" cars for good.

Cage is one of those actors that can't seem to maintain a career of doing good films. We (Don't Sit Next To Us) figured that about one in 10 films that he does is actually decent. This film definitely makes the "good" list. It is also an example of why audiences keep giving Cage a chance: when he does make a good film, he is extremely likable in it.

I am unsure why critics panned this film. I thought it was quite enjoyable. The story is decent, the acting is good and the action is entertaining. The cars are a plus, as is the music. Some times you have to learn to see a movie for what it is. Not every film can be epic, thought-provoking, mind-bending or Oscar-worthy. Some times a film can be highly effective as an escape from reality; what movies are suppose to be.

The cast is a great mix of acting talent. Jolie is great as the tough-as-nails Sway. McBride steals several scenes with his timely wit. Eccleston is excellent as the bad (possibly crazy) crime boss. Ribisi is great as the brother who can't stay out of trouble. (If he had more to work with, Ribis would be phenomenal but this character didn't call for much more). And Will Patton and Duvall round out the cast, providing an older brother/father figure type vibe for the group. 

Final Verdict: See it. Gone in 60 Seconds is fun. Plain and simple. It's a great action/adventure film and I believe it is one of Cage's most enjoyable films. If you haven't seen it yet, it's a perfect film to watch on a lazy Saturday afternoon or a quiet Friday night.

Silver Linings Playbook AKA Am I Crazy Or Is That A Lot of Gum?

Silver Linings Playbook
Director: David O. Russell
Starring: Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, and Robert DeNiro
New Release Review

Every year, the Academy Awards honour a film that is deserving of all it's accolades, but it also appeals to the masses. Last year it was The Help (and Hugo - though that film didn't garner any acting nominations but did earn eleven nominations nonetheless). This year, it's Silver Linings Playbook.

Playbook stars Bradley Cooper as Pat, a recently released patient of a mental health facility, who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and put in the custody of his parents after eight months of treatment. Suffering major life blows including losing his job and his wife, Pat is at an all time low when he is court-ordered to receive treatment. Upon his release, he learns that his wife (Nikki) has moved away and is unwilling to see him, his father, Pat Sr. (De Niro), is unemployed and heavily involved in bookmaking to earn money to start a family restaurant, and his friends and acquaintances all believe he is "crazy".

Determined to get his life back on track, and find the "silver lining", Pat agrees to dinner with his friend Ronnie and meets Ronnie's sister-in-law, Tiffany (Lawrence), a recently widowed, recovering sex addict who has also lost her job. The two form an unlikely bond when Tiffany agrees to help Pat with reconciling with Nikki, and Pat agrees to be Tiffany's partner in an upcoming dance competition.

Through the trials and tribulations of both of these characters, we are taken on a journey were we discover that being considered "crazy" is relative and nobody's life is perfect but we can find the "silver lining" in every situation.

The most remarkable thing about this film is that it found a perfect format for creating a wonderful rom-com. It's sad that now, we are inundated with cookie cutter films such as How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days, America's Sweethearts, Monster-In-Law, and Sweet Home Alabama. It was so refreshing to see a completely different take on the genre. Unlike these "dime a dozen" rom-com films, Playbook dared to be different, including grittier and  heavier plot points and more realistic emotion and drama. The film steers clear of cheesy genre elements like montages of the leads suffering because they "can't be together" and then low and behold, they end up together after a big gesture made by one of the leads.

On top of having a great storyline, Playbook boasts a stellar cast. I wasn't surprised to see Cooper step up to this big role and knock it out of the park. We have seen him prove that he has some acting chops (Limitless) and this role provided him with all the things he needed in order to produce an Oscar-worthy performance. He has gained critical acclaim for this role and it's well deserved. It won't earn him that Oscar, but being nominated is an honour in itself (as cheesy as that sounds, it's true) and will give him some serious clout as an actor.

Lawrence was spectacular. Not many young female actresses would be able to fill the shoes of this dynamic and layered character. Lawrence, despite her age, is able to believably portray characters that are "wiser beyond their years" and she always brings a little something more to the character. Her performance in this film is the stand out amongst several other strong ones. The range that she demonstrates in this film is what will give her a decent chance at the Oscar race, but we have yet to see the best that she can do.

De Niro reminds us why he has been in this industry, and so successful, for so long. Though he is sometimes forgotten in the praise of the performances in this film, his is one that should not go unnoticed. On top of giving a remarkable performance of this character, he also brings out the best in his costars, most notably, Cooper. I hope that Cooper appreciated the fact that he got to work with one of the greats and it looks like he learned a thing or two from the talented De Niro. (Side note: with his nomination for Best Supporting Actor, De Niro now has seven nominations and one win under his belt - not too shabby!)

Silver Linings Playbook has earned eight Academy Award nominations including, Best Picture and Best Director. It has achieved two rare feats: being nominated in all four acting categories (Cooper, Lawrence, De Niro, and Jacki Weaver - supporting actress) the first time since Reds in 1981 and being nominated for the "Big Five" (Picture, Director, Actor, Actress, and Screenplay) the first time since 2004's Million Dollar Baby.

Final Verdict: See it. You won't regret it. The story is wonderful and compelling; just when you think the film is about Cooper's character dealing with being bipolar, you are swept up in a story that has so much more to offer. It's an unpredictably beautiful film about two complex characters and their interesting and quirky families. One of the best films of 2012.

Rotten Tomatoes

PS: For those of you who didn't get the joke in the title of this review - it's a quote from a Seinfeld episode entitled "The Gum" where everyone is partaking in a ruse to make sure Lloyd Braun, who suffered a nervous breakdown and spent time in a mental institution, feels normal and not "crazy". Here's the clip:

Trailer Tuesday - Red 2

This week's edition of Trailer Tuesday features an upcoming sequel. Sequels are always dicing, but I'm hoping good things for this one. Check out the trailer for Red 2:

Red (which stands for "Retired, Extremely Dangerous") was a surprise hit in 2010. The film was significantly better than I (and most people I assume) thought it would be. A good storyline, great acting and lots of laughs ensured that the film would be a hit. So when a sequel was announced, I wasn't surprised.

Red 2  sees Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, and John Malkovich, retired CIA agents, reunite to take down enemies in Europe. Mary-Louise Parker also returns but the biggest news is the additions to the cast: Catherine Zeta-Jones, David Thewlis,  Neal McDonough, and most notably, Anthony Hopkins. Good move on the writers and director for bringing these actors in seeing as Morgan Freeman won't be returning.

For the most part, Red 2 looks like more of what made the first film so great. The opening scene in the trailer basically sums up the funniest part of the film: Malkovich. In true form, Malkovich's character marches to the beat of his own drummer and provides numerous laughs as he does so.

Not much has been said about the plot of this film and the trailer doesn't delve into the nature of reunion of the RED crew. But I think it's safe to assume that there's some big conspiracy with the CIA and it's up to this team of retired agents to find out what's going on. Typical and kind of lame, but I'm sure the writing will once again be entertaining and we all know the acting will be fantastic.

Red 2 is set to be released in August. Great timing as it will be the perfect August movie. (August movies always turn out to be better that what you expect - you don't expect much after the big blockbuster summer months, so it's always great to see one or two surprisingly decent August films).

Check out the Wikipedia page for more information and stay tuned for a review here shortly after it's release.

Gangster Squad or I Believe Ya But My Tommy Gun Don't!

Gangster Squad
Director:Ruben Fleischer
Starring: Josh Brolin, Ryan Gosling, and Sean Penn
New Release Review

January has been an interesting month for new film releases. January always tends to be a dry month for thought-provoking, mind-altering, laugh-out-loud films, and this year has been no different. Luckily, Christine and I had a few movies that were released in December to play catch up with. Gangster Squad is the first official new film of 2013 for Don't Sit Next To Us and we were pleasantly surprised with our thoughts on the "based on a true story" film.

Gangster Squad takes on the story of Mickey Cohen (played by hot-headed Penn), the true life Jewish gangster, who at one point in time, was poised to be the most powerful gangster in Los Angeles. The "Gangster Squad" was a secret police unit that took on the seemingly impossible task of destroying all of Cohen's criminal operations and ultimately Cohen himself. Sergeant John O'Mara (Brolin) leads a team of misfit cops on a unplanned and at most times disorganized, vigilante-type attack on Cohen's money laundering outfits around LA, hoping to restore law and order back to the City of Angels. O'Mara recruits fellow cops Jerry Wooters (Gosling),Coleman Harris (Anthony Mackie), Navidad Ramirez (Michael Pena), Conway Keeler (Giovanni Ribisi) and Max Kennard (Robert Patrick) and they begin calling themselves the "Gangster Squad".

The story seems one-sided, as the squad delivers significant blows to Cohen's operations but things aren't always as they seem. And this is Sean Penn we're talking about here! He doesn't just roll over and play dead! And it wouldn't be much of a "gangster" movie if there wasn't a fairly even battle between the good guys and the bad guys.

I have to admit - I really enjoyed this film. It was fun. It wasn't long - so it was easy to stay captivated even when the few minor lulls in the story popped up. There were funny moments, which surprised me. I didn't expect the film to be as flexible as it was. I expected it to try and be Public Enemies and we all know, we won't see another "gangster" movie that is as well done as that film was. Gangster Squad combined action, comedy, thriller, and era film genres to make one very likable movie.

It definitely helped that the cast was great. This movie would not have been as enjoyable as it was if the cast was sub-par. Nice to see some big names working together in this film. Brolin and Gosling had a decent chemistry, in a older brother-younger brother type way. Gosling's chemistry, however, lacked with Emma Stone (who played the love interest of both Gosling and Penn) even though their previous film together, Crazy, Stupid, Love demonstrated that they could have an extraordinary amount of chemistry, if the characters and storyline were more developed.

Penn was eerily too good in the role of mob boss Cohen. He plays the angry, tough guy role way too well. When he's yelling at people on screen, you feel like he's yelling at you, and I caught myself cowering in my seat several times. However, thanks to Community, all I could think of the entire film was this hilarious scene from season 3:

Final Verdict: See it. Take it for what it is: a fun, action packed, "gangster" movie. Great scenes, clothes, and sayings from the 40s. There were a few scenes that were too similar to other action films (Die Hard, The Matrix, even Scarface) and the "tommy" guns had me thinking of Home Alone 2 (hence the title of this review). But as a movie geek, finding similarities in films tends to happen a lot when watching any film.  Enough action and chuckles to keep the boys entertained. And for the ladies, do we really need an excuse to watch Gosling on the big screen?

Rotten Tomatoes

Trailer Tuesday - The Call

I struggled to pick a trailer to write about this week - I have seen quite a few new ones in the past few days; some bad, more good.

I stumbled upon this trailer while looking into our Winter/Spring movie list. It's for Halle Berry's upcoming film, The Call. Check out the trailer:

Well, my first thought while watching this trailer was, this is a mash-up of Cellular and Taken. But don't knock the decency of this film before watching the entire trailer. It could turn out to be a hit like the aforementioned films. But it can also be a flop. Only time will tell.

The Call stars Berry as an emergency operator who makes a fatal mistake when she calls a 911 caller back while she is being pursued. The perpetrator hears the phone ringing and finds his victim, killing her. Berry's character suffers from the realization that she played a hand in dooming this caller's fate. It's discovered that the perpetrator is a serial killer, kidnapping young girls and murdering them. Abigail Breslin plays the young girl that becomes this serial killer's net victim that Berry's character tries to save. And so the action begins and thrills and suspense builds as the characters try to save the young girl from being killed.

After watching the trailer it is obvious why I believe it is a mash-up of Cellular and Taken; the cell phone is used as the means for the two characters to communicate (like Cellular) and Berry's character takes it upon herself to rescue the victim (like Taken). It will be a miracle if they are able to maintain this simple plot line for the duration of the film, unless we are surprised with a few twists and turns. However, if the film can manage to be no longer than an hour and a half, it might be able to be successful like Taken.

I am happy to add this to the Winter/Spring movie list as it is the perfect action/thriller to get us through the dull and less than stellar movie months (post award season movies aren't always the greatest). I have a feeling I might enjoy this one as I have tended to like films of this nature in the past (When a Stranger Calls, Hostage, Phone Booth, etc.)

What do you think of Berry's upcoming film? Are you like me and enjoy straight to the point action/thriller films? 

Check out the film's Wikipedia page here for more information.

Dark Shadows or The First Tim Burton/Johnny Depp Film I Didn't Enjoy

Dark Shadows
Director: Tim Burton
Starring: Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Eva Green
Box Office: $234,211,160 (Worldwide)
DVD Review

It took me a long time to see this film. Usually when a Tim Burton/Johnny Depp collaboration is released, I am the first one there to see it. I love Burton's work; especially when he collaborates with Depp. Something magical happens when they put their two crazy, inventive, off-the-wall minds together. I'm not sure why I didn't see this film in theatre. It was only out for a few weeks (which is never a good sign for a film) and we had more pressing films that needed to be seen on our Summer Movie List.

I finally watched Dark Shadows last week, and I wasn't impressed with what I saw.Visually, it was everything you could ask for from Burton. Dark scenes contrasted with bright, vibrant colours and strong use of props made the entire film pleasing on the eyes. However, it couldn't mask the dryness and dullness of the story. It breaks my heart to say it, but this film was boring.

A young Barnabas Collins (Depp), along with his parents, sets sail from Liverpool, England to America to start a new life, however, the family is unable to escape a mysterious curse that has plagued their family for years. Twenty years go by and Barnabas is now a wealthy man with the entire town of Collinsport, Maine at his feet. He is the master of Collinwood Manor and a rich a powerful playboy until he makes the grave mistake of breaking the heart of Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green) who turns out to be a witch. Angelique curses Barnabas with a fate worst than death; she turns him into a vampire and buries him alive. In 1972, two hundred years later, Barnabas is freed from his tomb, learning the world is a very different place from what he remembered. He returns to Collinwood Manor to find it is in dire straits and the dysfunctional family that remains each have their own dark secrets to hide. Barnabas reveals his true self to Elizabeth (Pfeiffer) the matriarch of the family who allows him to stay as long as he never reveals her secret or the fact that he is a vampire to the rest of the family. Just as Barnabas is getting things turned around for the Collins family, Angelique returns to reek havoc on him and everyone he loves, including the young and innocent Victoria (Bella Heathcote), the Collins family's recently hired governess, who happens to be the reincarnation of Barnabas' past love, Josette.


The biggest flaw with this film was it failed to capture the same campy-ness that the TV show introduced to the world in 1966. The charm from the original story failed to translate to the big screen in this almost two hour film. Though there were some clever "culture shock" type jokes, the remainder of the comedic side of the film, fell flat. The drama was there, it just got lost in the camp. Individually, these genres would have worked. Unfortunately, when mixed together, it fizzled.

The acting as whole, was strong. It's rare to see Depp in a role where he doesn't shine, but this was definitely not his best. This film was another in a fairly long list of movies that revolve around whoever Depp's character may be. It works sometimes (Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl, Sleepy Hollow, etc.) but in this case it was too forced. Helena Bonham-Carter and Michelle Pfeiffer provided supporting characters that could keep up with Depp's crazy antics. And though newer actors Chloe Grace Moretz and Eva Green were decent, their characters were bland and fell through the cracks. Great to see some cameo type appearances from Christopher Lee (who is a frequent collaborator of Burton) and Alice Cooper were nice touches but couldn't save this sinking story.

Final Verdict: Skip it. A very dull story that will only capture your attention visually. Even Burton (and Burton/Depp) fans will not be happy with the outcome of this film. Though it will not deter me from looking forward to their next collaboration. If you are interested in a great Burton/Depp film, check out any one of their other past seven films they have done together:

• Edward Scissorhands
• Ed Wood
• Sleepy Hollow
• Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
• Corpse Bride
• Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
• Alice in Wonderland

Rotten Tomatoes

Throwback Thursdays - Sixteen Candles

Welcome back to Throwback Thursdays!

I have been asked a few times lately what my favourite movie is. As I have stated before, I a huge fan of movies, so narrowing it down to a singular favourite is a little hard for me. But, ever since I was younger, I have always loved Dirty Dancing and Sixteen Candles. So in honour of this question being asked, this week's throwback review features the John Hughes teen classic, Sixteen Candles.

Sixteen Candles
Director: John Hughes
Starring: Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, and Michael Schoeffling
Released: 1984
Box Office Gross: $23,686,027 (USA)
Throwback Review


When people think of John Hughes, they generally remember his teen movies first. Mainly The Breakfast Club. However, before Judd Nelson was pumping his fist into the air to the closing theme of Simple Minds' Don't You (Forget About Me) and Molly Ringwald was identifying herself as a "princess", Hughes wrote and directed Sixteen Candles. Hughes' first official teen film starred Ringwald (in her first starring role) as Samantha Baker, a girl who struggles to get through the day on her 16th birthday and has to deal with the normal issues of teenage life.

To add to her struggles, Samantha's family has forgotten about her birthday because her older sister is getting married the next day. Even her visiting grandparents have forgotten this milestone birthday. She is also dealing with teenage issues that include being unpopular and infatuated with attractive senior, Jake Ryan. Her completed "sex quiz" note that was meant to be read by her friend, gets picked up by Jake. She panics as this note stated that she was saving herself for Jake. But the timing couldn't be more perfect as Jake is dealing with his own relationship issues with his popular and selfish girlfriend, Caroline.

Sub plots that truly endear the film and add to the comedic feel of the storyline are strategically placed throughout the central plot and interacts with it every so often. Long Duk Dong, a foreign exchange student who is living with one set of Sam's grandparents and is therefore staying at her house during the wedding. Sam is forced to take him along to the school's dance and Long Duk Dong quickly becomes a hit, earning the nickname "The Donger". Geeky freshman, referenced as Ted (or Farmer Ted as he is nicknamed), tries to win a bet with his friends that he will "bed" Sam, who he has a crush on. (Though he is referenced by these names in the film, his character is simply credited as "The Geek").

The film starts with Sam waking up on her 16th birthday and goes through her entire day. It spills over into the next day and her sister's wedding, but mainly takes place during the one day. The storyline is laid out fairly simply, despite the interweaving of the subplots that tends to make most films too confusing (or meta). In true John Hughes fashion, the film tackles real life problems in a unique and comedic way that makes them so appealing to the entire audience. He blends comedy and romance in a way that neither genre feels forced or cheesy. He had a keen eye for seeing what a film needed and adding all those elements to make a beautiful and classic film.

I fell in love with this film the first time I saw it. I laughed. I cried. I wanted to marry Jake Ryan. It is one of those films that I can watch over and over again and never get tired of it. 

Final Verdict: See it. Easily one of the best "coming of age" films that was ever made. One of Hughes' best creations, Sixteen Candles still warms my heart and makes me laugh. It gave us so many quotes and scenes that still resonate in today's pop culture. Remember this famous scene in the film?

Total Recall AKA Total Crap

Total Recall
Director: Len Wiseman
Starring: Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, and Jessica Biel
Box Office Gross: $58,877,969 (USA)
DVD Review

First off, I'd like to thank this film for giving the Don't Sit Next To Us team reason to bring back the art of changing movie titles, of films that are horrible, to have the word "crap" in them. Past films that earned this highly prestigious honour include (but are not limited to): Sky-crap (Skyline), Season of the Crap (Season of the Witch), The Social Crap (The Social Network) and who could forget, Ava-Crap (Avatar). Which brings us to the newest addition, Total Crap.

As soon as I heard a remake of the 1990 sci-fi classic was being made, I cringed. I physically cringed. I realize that we are in the age of remakes, reboots and re-imagines. But come on! Did this film really need to be remade??? (To answer that rhetorical question: NO). It's one thing to remake, reboot or even re-imagine a film and give new life to it. It's another to remake for the sake of remaking. And after watching this film, it's apparent that the intent behind this venture was not only to remake the original, but to make it more action based. For shame, Len Wiseman. You ruined a perfectly good sci-fi film.

The film's storyline is similar to the original; a global war has devastated Earth leaving the remaining livable terrority divided into two - the Colony and The United Federation of Britain (UFB). A resistance is rising in the UFB that seeks to improve life in the Colony. Douglas Quaid (Farrell), a factory worker who travels from the Colony to the United Federation of Britain (UFB) daily for work, decides to visit Rekall - a company that implants artificial memories into people. After trying to implant "secret agent" memories into Quaid, it is discovered that he has real memories of being an agent. Quaid is ambushed by a SWAT team and kills them all before escaping. He returns home to his wife Lori (Beckinsale) to discover that she is an undercover UFB agent who has been assigned to monitor him. She attempts to kill him but he escapes, running into Melina (Biel) a woman from his recurring dream. Quaid embarks on a journey with Melina to find out who he really is and to stop the UFB from taking over the Colony.

The biggest difference between the two films is the lack of sci-fi incorporated in this remake. Gone are the strange travels between Earth and Mars, the mutants and crazy antics that ensue when you're dealing with other worldly creatures and territories. Again, the film was changed from a sci-fi genre to an action genre. Oy vey.

Total Recall reminded me a lot of Avatar; visually appealing but little substance. Acting was horrific. You know it's bad when you have Bill Nighy and Bryan Cranston as the supporting actors to the starring Farrell, Biel and Beckinsale (which of course means less screen time for Nighy and Cranston). Ugh. That was the first mistake made in this film - the casting. Surely they could have found someone better suited to play the role of Quaid. Keanu Reeves, Jason Statham, Kiefer Sutherland, hell even Vin Diesel would have been better in this role than Farrell. He lacks charisma. Which is a huge thing to be missing when you're the leading man. And talk about having no chemistry with his leading ladies! Though I am not a fan of Biel, she was decent in this role. Not much to work with, so this was not a difficult role for her to tackle. Beckinsale was the obvious standout in this film. I am not sure if that was because she has credibility as a female action star or simply because her husband was behind this film. I'd like to believe the former.

Final Verdict: Skip it. Waste of time. Watch the original. You can always rely on Arnold Schwarzenegger to make a film enjoyable. Even if you don't like the context of the film. Especially with quotes like "What about the guy you lobotomized? Did he get a refund?" and "Consider this a divorce". But for all those sci-fi fans out there who enjoyed the original film - this remake just does not make the grade.

Rotten Tomatoes

Trailer Tuesdays - Pain and Gain

Welcome back to Trailer Tuesdays!

Why not start the new year off with a real stinker?

Check out the trailer for Pain and Gain, the new film by Michael Bay. (If that doesn't say stinker I don't know what does)

Seriously Mark Wahlberg. Is this what your acting career has come to?

Pain and Gain is based on a true story about a group of Florida steroid-abusing bodybuilders who become involved in an extortion ring and kidnapping plot that, yep you guessed it, goes wrong.

My first thought when watching this trailer was "what the hell is this supposed to be?". I can't decide if this film is supposed to be a comedy or an action or a little of both. Do I take it seriously? Then Rebel Wilson shows up and I realize there is no way this film can be taken seriously.

From this trailer, the film seems to have a serious identity crisis, and not just because it can't decide what genre it belongs to. The filming style is completely all over the place. But is that not the M.O. of Michael Bay? Shoot the film in a whole bunch of different styles, slap some big name actors to the cast, round it out with some shots of scantily clad women and have an explosion in every other scene and you're good to go!

But in all seriousness, I am really disappointed in Wahlberg for being a part of this film. Over the past few years, it seemed that he was making smarter choices about his film roles. But with this role, he seems to be digressing back to the 90s (both literally and metaphorically as this film takes place in the 90s) where he was "Marky Mark" and hardly anyone took him seriously. He has proven himself a formidable action star, who actually has some decent acting talent (in more serious roles such as Mickey Ward in The Fighter or Sean Dignamn in The Departed) and a likable comedic actor (he was downright hilarious in The Other Guys and Ted). In this role, he looks to be trying to combine the two genres he has conquered and it doesn't seem to be working.

The addition of Dwayne Johnson is not surprising - he takes whatever role is offered to him. Sometimes it works in his favour, most times it does not. Looks like another stinker to add to your stellar collection, Mr. Johnson.

Additions of Wilson and Ken Jeong to the supporting cast won't help save this film. It is written in the stars - this film will bomb. Sorry Wahlberg and Johnson. Even your decision to not take salaries and take back ends on the films profits was a mistake. You won't be seeing much in your pocket after this one.

Check out the film's official page here or the wikipedia page here.

Sgt. Sean Dignam

Django Unchained AKA Tarantino is a Genius

Django Unchained
Director: Quentin Tarantino
Starring: Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, and Leonardo DiCaprio
New Release Review

Arlaine's Review 
Very few filmmakers can create a well-rounded, well-thought out, captivating film. Many try and many fail. There are, however, an elite few who can maintain a high standard of film-making in every film they create. Quentin Tarantino is one of these filmmakers.

Django Unchained is the newest creation from the genius that is Tarantino. The last film Tarantino created (and I use the term "created" because Tarantino literally creates each film he puts out from the ground up) was 2009's Inglorious Basterds which became another one of Tarantino's masterpieces. However, this one was special - it garnered critical praise and box office success, becoming Tarantino's highest grossing film to date. It also earned eight Academy Award nominations with Christoph Waltz winning for Best Supporting Actor. Already praised by critics and audiences, Django Unchained is poised to join Tarantino's list of masterpieces.

Set in the Pre-Civil-War era of the deep south, the film stars Foxx as the title character, who has been separated from his wife, Broomhilda (Kerry Washington) when the two were sold to different slave owners. Django is freed by Dr. King Schultz (Waltz), a bounty hunter who enlists the former slave's help with locating the Brittle Brothers who once owned Django. Discovering that he is quite talented in his newly found profession, Schultz takes on Django as an apprentice and decides that he will help him reunite with his wife. The two partners find that Broomhilda's current owner is Calvin Candie (DiCaprio), a plantation owner who does not part with his slaves easily. Django and Schultz disguise themselves as slave owners and head on a journey to free Broomhilda.

What can I say about this film other than it is utter genius. Tarantino has an unbelievable knack for knowing exactly what needs to be incorporated in a film to make it work. He seamlessly combines all film genres (action, thriller, comedy, romance, etc) to make one wonderfully engaging film. The film is long - in true Tarantino fashion, it is more of an epic tale than a simple movie - running at 2 hours 45 minutes, but the story never drags. There is even an impromptu "gag" scene ala Mel Brooks to cut the tension of the heavy storyline.

Despite the controversy that surrounded the film (some claimed the depictions of racism and slavery were unrealistic and the heavy use of the "n-word" was unnecessary), critics and audiences have praised Tarantino's bold and daring film. He has a unique way of telling stories through film and each story he delivers is highly infectious. They become cult classics and produce some of the best work from its actors. Case in point: Waltz and DiCaprio.

Well-deserved Golden Globe nominations have already been awarded to both Waltz and DiCaprio for their scene-stealing performances in Django Unchained. Don't be surprised to see both actors receive Oscar nods for their roles in Tarantino's epic tale (which has earned three Golden Globe nominations including Best Director, Screenplay and Drama Motion Picture). Tarantino seems to have found another muse in Waltz; the pair's earlier collaboration earned Waltz his first Oscar along with numerous other industry awards. Although his performance in this film is just as stellar as his previous work in Inglorious Basterds, I believe it is DiCaprio who shines the brightest in his supporting role. Perhaps this will be the role that finally earns him a long-overdue Oscar. DiCaprio, who seems to be able to tackle any role he is offered, stands out once again in this film with this larger than life character who is both charismatic and brutal. One particular scene solidifies and truly demonstrates DiCaprio's acting chops - a dinner scene where he monologues his anger in discovering the truth about his guests. And showing his true talent, DiCaprio kept the scene going despite running into a situation that would have most actors yelling "CUT". (Check out this article on Yahoo! Movies to see what I mean). Now that's a real actor.

I would never have guessed it but the pairing of DiCaprio and Samuel L. Jackson was (for lack of a better word) genius. Those two had a remarkable amount of chemistry that exuded in every scene they had together.

Foxx was decent - although he did not stand out in this film (it's hard to do so with such other strong performances) he managed to keep up with the actors around him. He was the best choice for this role as I honestly can't see anyone else being able to portray this character so well. He was, however, given some great lines and he runs with it. ("Django. The 'd' is silent").

Final Verdict: See it. NOW. A great film overall. Nothing to complain about on this one. Tarantino strikes gold with another great story and great cast. Even if you don't generally like Tarantino's style (he can be too bloody, gory and in-your-face for some), try to look past that and pay attention to the story he is telling. You won't be disappointed.

Christine's Review
Wow, way to leave me tons to talk about Arlaine...

As has been said, Django Unchained is a movie that makes the audience work: it's witty, violent, and a little on the long side. Let me be clear up front: I am not as huge a fan of Tarantino as Arlaine. I feel that lately he's been stuck in the rut of the "Revenge Fantasy" story only set in different locations. We've seen this before and without the utterly captivating performances from Christoph Waltz and Leonardo DiCaprio respectively, I would not have enjoyed this movie half as much.

I truly believe that Waltz will win an Academy Award for his performance as Dr. King Schultz, the dentist-turned-bounty-hunter who frees Django. I couldn't take my eyes off him whenever he was on the screen. Waltz, like Steve Buscemi in Reservoir Dogs before him, has found a way to take the Tarintinian dialogue and make it sound effortless and natural. It's as though the characters are just riffing on the topic (Madonna, tipping, the morality of a foreign man who abhorrs slavery owning a slave, and bounty hunting) and are just that interesting. Waltz is playing a German character in Schultz so he is able to keep his natural accent which, I believe, adds to the performance. The unusual phrasing and almost stiff formality of Schultz's speech continually reminds us that, like Django, he too is an outsider in America (albeit a different sort).

**Minor Spoilers Ahead**

Having seen several of Q's movies I had an idea of the violence I could expect in Django Unchained. What I Didn't expect was a truly horrific scene where a slave is killed by dogs to be given such respect by the director. The comical, cartoonish, blood-spurting wounds of Tarantino films has been replaced with a realistic and decidedly un-funny depiction of a gruesome death. I'm not sure if it's because we needed to see how far Django would go to maintain his character of a mandingo fight expert in order to find and free his wife or if Tarantino wanted to remind the audience that we're all watching a movie about slavery and it really did happen in the USA. By placing this scene in the middle of the story it functions as a foil to the other violence in the movie and heightens the revenge Django exacts during the final blood-soaked and bullet-filled act. Am I over-thinking it? Or am I being too sensitive to the blood and guts style of fighting?

**Spoilers Over**

Final Verdict: If you're a fan of other Tarantino movies then you're probably going to like Django Unchained. But, if you're at all on the fence about his storytelling and visual style, it might be best to wait for the DVD.

Rotten Tomatoes